What Kind of Life Do You Want to Live With?

I have followed several public coaching seminar and learn how people behavior is formed at the first place. I also read some articles about theory of human identity, values and neuroscience. I realize that the key of changes lies underneath our conscious. It can be triggered out when you are thinking positive and open. And it can be achieved faster if you think organized.

  “if you do not have the life and relationships that you want, you likely do not have the thinking patterns you need to create the optimal emotional states, and thus actions, that would sustain your momentum in the overall direction of your aspirations.” – Athena Steik, Ph.D

Our daily activity may prevent us from doing outside the regular pattern. We are comfortable with “saved pattern” in our mind. Even if it’s disorganized, some people still reluctant to change.

In tidying house, the example can be your kitchen set arrangement. Though the utensils, pots and pans are stored scatteredly, as long you can find it in those “scattered place”, you  improve the speed of your move while you get those, and you save this pattern in mind as the ideal cooking-life. This is human survival ability. However, beyond your conscious, you are used to think complex and inefficient. You adapt to it, so you complete it faster and that can become your philosophy of life in other aspects.

Thinking organized, is not something that can be contrived. It’s the outcome of methodological learning and experience, the ability to survive from each failure and lostness, make them as a thinking pattern and reflect it in your behavior.

If you consider you are trapped in disorganized pattern. Probably it’s the right time for you to expose yourself in tidying method. KonMari tidying method suits me because it teaches me how to be human. My background is in IT so I treat tidying like program I need to execute in certain period/ batches. I thought I will need to declutter regularly in my life with rules that are complex. Surprisingly, she declares that only one criteria whether belongings need to keep: if it sparks joy. If it don’t but you need it, build feel of grateful for having it. That’s pretty much explain it. That simple thought requires self contemplation. Recognize again what you love in life, despite all public opinions and world rules. So I agree with the title that this method could change life.

The first and foremost step in KonMari method is more than contemplating rather than actions. It must begin with asking yourself: “What kind of life do you want to live with?”. This question structs me ones and give me awakening. How rarely I am to think about what I love and what I need, above other people’s that I love most.

Love generates other love. If you care for people and put their needs above your needs, that would be one of the greatest sacrifice you have ever done. However, the love you give for them should make you feel loved too. It’s like an amunition for you to reproduce the love. The more you feel loved, the more love you will produce and give. At highest point, you might give it to others for free. That’s why if we raise our children with much love, they will be a loving person someday.

Being organized is the key of new chapter. Like a book, when you finish one chapter, you build summary in your head and you continue to next chapter. Inability to “close” the previous chapter makes you go back and back again just to find that you miss some spot somewhere. That goes similarly with tidying. Once you done with tidying with methodology  that suits your value, there must be no turning back to cluttering situation.

Now that you commit to be organized for the rest of your life with KonMari method, then you are ready for next step:


Ideal life style is not hard to find. It’s a kind of untold wish. It can be as simple as “I want to cook for my spouse every day, try different recipe with brave and use my unusual spices collection for new cooking adventure”.

You may wonder why you don’t start tidying right away. The different in KonMari method is it provokes your honest voice about why you want to start tidying. The life style achieved when you’ve done tidying become the goals of tidying, instead of the looks of tidiness, modern air storage, and pile of trashes after.

Visualization is different to dreaming or fantasizing. The visualization is more limited. It’s limited to your values and some limitations come beyond your power so that it shiuld be more achievable. Limitations beyond your power can be your house feature limitation, and budget limitation. If the limitation is coming from you, try to recognize if it’s hesitation or fear of something that you can predict. Some introverted peoples, or analytical people may fear of something spontaneous. They tend to make wish which is most feasible to achieve. Try to balance this impulse by opening your mind and do something differently. As long as the limitation is not originated from you, it should be handled.

Visualization can program your subconscious and gives you confident as if you may have achieve it at present. It’s normal to questioning yourself at first. However, as long as you use your logical to limit your visualization based on what comes beyond your power only, you’ll be ended great.


My husband and I are basically creative people. Though we struggle to find spare time in our daily activities, and nuance of our work life requires more left brain (logical-analytical), we still have lots of creative projects in mind.

We are also couple who value the wisdoms of our parents. Told so, my visualization for life style is achieved when we can warmly welcome our family (main family and big family) at home. It must feel like the home indulges people, not indulge belongings. Everyone has their place for relaxing and it gives us room to facilitate our creativity.

Our house will grip two themes: warm and practical. It shortly describes in picture:


Since my taste has became old school since I was in college, and it’s somehow aligned with my value and visualization of “warm”. I want to keep my house’s nuance of retro. I don’t need to renovate my house surely, but my ideal home will reflect this ambience:


To keep my mind keep “in place”. I make mood board for us to begin with:
Guest Room
Undeneath it all, however, being creative needs a pause. When it comes to our bedroom, we want something even more practical, plain, and give our brain to rest, refreshing before new ideas come. We want to enter a room with no room for us to think again. So our bedroom mood board will be clean in monochrome.


I am confident to achieve my ideal lifetime by implementing KonMari method. As this blog is intended to accompany people in journey to find themselves, I’m going to post the steps until I achieve it.

Oh, one more thing. Marie Kondo has 3 series of books which I suggest you to read all of them. Especially manga version because it is too cute *giggle.

You know, a quote saying that: there’s never too late to be what you might have been”

Are you ready to create your own nature and start your new life?


Lifestyle CNN oleh U. Widyowati

The Neuroscience Of Changing Toxic Thinking or Behavior Patterns – Physic Central

Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo, 2011

Life Changing Manga of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo, 2017

Spark Joy – An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up, Marie Kondo, 2016.